Blast From the Past

First, I need to unload.

Some of you know why I've been absent from the blogging scene for the past few months, but most of you don't. The short of it is that at the beginning of March, I found out that the boy I was seeing this fall was less than truthful with me during our time together and I've been trying to come to terms with that while trying to do a good job at work and trying to make sure I feel good about living in California. It's been tough for me to really get my head around and I just haven't wanted to interface with the world. (Sorry, interface is totally a California yuppie word.)

I'm feeling some sense of closure today, as I received some things back from said boy that I requested, including all the letters I wrote him. I read them all just now and the first two months worth were so wonderful to read, to be reminded of the happiness I was feeling. I do not do a good job of keeping a diary, so I am so grateful to have these. In the second letter I wrote: "One thing that is funny about letters is that it is documentation of my life, but I'm not going to read it again. I often think about all the letters I've sent that are out in the world...I have no recollection of what they say or how I was feeling when I wrote them." I've written this on the blog before and that I tried to get in the habit of photocopying before I send them out, but I think my best bet is to rely on all of you to save them for me.

Here's another excerpt I'll share from a card with a circle and "New Moon" on the front:
September 5, 2007
"Today, one of my mentees asked when September was. I told him it was now. He looked puzzled and said, "Maybe I was thinking of December." (ha!) ...I had a lot of different cards to choose from but I thought this one was pretty appropriate right now. At least for me. I definitely moved here hoping for something new in life and believing that if I stayed on the path that is right for me, I would find people and communities that would support me to be the person I aspire to be. It's a bit like a restart, a new moon, but just like every new moon, there is a long history of moons before it creating a context with which we view this one. I know I would not be able to enjoy moments now as much as I do without all the other moments I've had in the past to give me perspective on where I want to go. "

Sometimes it's nice for me to be reminded of who I am so I can keep on keepin' on.

Thursday is always Appreciation Day in my mentor group. I am so excited that my colleague is going to join us with her 9th graders so we can do appreciations together. We are trying to find ways for our older students to pass culture to our young ones, so I'm hoping this helps. In honor of our Thursday ritual, I will send out a virtual appreciation to all of you. I'm pretty much aware of the dozen people reading my blog, so I want you to all know how much I appreciate your support, friendship, honesty, loyalty and humor.

Off to write some letters!